October, 2014:


Halloween festivities seem to be a peculiarly American holiday, and it becomes more rambunctious and extravagant every year. From kids in simple costumes trick-a-treating  in neighborhoods, it’s grown to large events in shopping centers, parades, and special haunted houses, especially in Los Angeles. There’s Knott’s Scary Farm, the Queen Mary’s Dark Harbor, Universal Studios Horror Nights, a costume ball at LA County Art Museum, and the famous and probably largest street party in the world in West Hollywood from 6-11 p.m. My daughter Heidi attended a few years ago.

I was reminded of these festivities by finding my photo of Vincent Price, renowned for his scary roles — The Pit and the Pendulum, House of Wax, The Masque of the Red Death, etc. Although he died in 1993, any movie fan will remember his distinctive cultured voice, despite being born in St. Louis, Missouri! I met him when I was a guest at a realtors’ convention in Las Vegas back in the mid 1970s. My mother-in-law had invited me to join her and  her brother-in-law; it was a good excuse to celebrate in Vegas. I had my photo taken with the charming Vincent and remember asking him why he had a lapel pin on his jacket  in the shape of a coat hangar (can’t be seen in the photo). He laughed and said it was because he didn’t have any “hangups!”

Me and Vincent Price. Looks like I'm doing publicity.

Me and Vincent Price. Looks like I’m doing publicity glad-handing!

Back in the 1960s, when I was working as a service representative at AT&T (known as Pacific Bell then), we always celebrated Halloween. We had about 10 sections of side-by-side desks in our large office in Hollywood on Gower Street, a couple of blocks from Columbia Studios. Each section, including the supervisor, would choose their own section costume. We were inventive as you can see in these old photos.

Halloween at the PacBell Phone Co office

Cave Women for Halloween at the PacBell Phone Co office – I’m third from the left

Another Halloween at the Phone Company

Another Halloween at the Phone Company-I’m third from the left again. We are space creatures, probably Star Trek inspired.











When my kids were growing up, we were fortunate to live in a suburban house between the Santa Monica Mountains and the Simi Hills,  a safe place to raise kids and an easy place for trick-or-treating. Now that I’m more in the city in an area of apartment buildings, I don’t see normal trick-or-treating.  Kids who don’t live in housing tracts will dress up for their schools, and also go with parents to shopping centers to get free candy.


Hansi as a Frontier Cowboy

Son Hansi as a Frontier Cowboy

Heidi as a version of American Indian

Daughter Heidi as a version of American Indian












Heidi & Zombie - West Hollywood Halloween

Heidi & Zombie – West Hollywood Halloween Carnival





The Devil and another fellow

The Devil and another fellow









Because Los Angeles is the Entertainment Capital of the World, there’s nothing that matches the zany and outrageous Gay West Hollywood Halloween Parade and Carnival. Thousands of participants of all sexual persuasions meander down a mile-long stretch of Santa Monica Boulevard on Halloween night. Some come just to gawk; others join in the fun with costumes seen nowhere else. There’s entertainment, bands, dancing, and plenty of food and drink. My daughter Heidi and a few friends dressed up a few years ago, but Heidi seemed to be the only one who got revelers to show off in photos.

Shipboard Life in the 16 Century

Mel bookw:compass 0

Writing Melaynie’s Masquerade was a multi-level challenge. I’d always been fascinated with the changing roles of men and women through the ages.   I decided to play with the concept of a female disguised as a man almost as soon as I decided to turn “Drake,” my screenplay, into a book. How close are men and women in preferences and personality, not to mention looks? History is peppered with sexual “masquerades” and lately sex change operations have gained acceptance as those who believe they were born the wrong sex take action to change it.

Since my heroine, Melaynie, plays both female and male roles, I had plenty of research to do. I had somewhat of an advantage since I’d spent a few years attending Renaissance Pleasure Faires and had some idea of life in England during the 1500s. The era of Queen Elizabeth I has been a major topic of movies, plays and books.

I wanted to start at the basics underneath all the layers of clothing—what did people wear? What was the requirement for underwear for both men and women: clothing or lack of it that we take for granted these days? Since modern women consider underwear a priority, that was one of my first research topics. I even found a fascinating little book called The History of Underclothes. Doing laundry wasn’t a major undertaking in the 16th century since the undergarments, made from various grades of linen, were seldom washed, even for the wealthy. To make them smell better, sweet spices were added on the few occasions they were laundered. It probably made little difference since everybody smelled bad anyway, and the nose is a forgiving orifice once it gets used to certain smells.

Englishwomen wore at least three layers of petticoats but no “drawers” (underpants) before the end of the 18th century. Corsets, like girdles or Spanx of more modern times, were and are punishing to wear. Oddly, men did wear drawers, which were loose fitting, gathered at the waist, ended at the knee, and were sometimes fancied up with embroidery

I used to wonder how men “had their way” with women so easily in some movies depicting Elizabethan times, but if they weren’t wearing underwear, all a man had to do was to lift a woman’s triple-layered skirt. One of the petticoats usually had hoops, so it lifted fairly easily.

Deciding where Melaynie was going to sleep on Drake’s ship in order to keep her sex secret was a challenge. From what I’d read about him, Drake truly cared about his crew. I wrote him as ignorant of Melaynie’s true sex, of course. For Drake, Melaynie was a young man named Christopher. Concerned that Christopher wouldn’t have an easy time sleeping on a hammock below decks with the rest of the rowdy sailors, Drake would have decided she’d be perfect sleeping at his cabin door, a protected area. Melaynie had extra help aboard ship because her brother had also signed on as a seaman.

If you’re curious about the entire adventure story, which is based on a true voyage to the Caribbean by Francis Drake and his crew, check out Melaynie’s Masquerade on Amazon.  Check out the book at:  http://amazon.com/author/victoriagiraud



An Army Brat in Libya Ebook cover

An Army Brat in Libya Ebook cover, published on Amazon

I started the Words on My Mind blog in May 2010 and have posted 476 stories since then. I’ve had lots of words to put down, apparently! My readers are growing in number — around 80,000 hits a month, sometimes more, at this point. Over 2 million people have stopped in or passed by Words on My Mind. Now if I had only sold that many books on Amazon! What pleases me most is that many readers leave comments (over 2,000 so far) and tell me something about their own personal stories. I love that kind of interaction.

One of my favorite subjects is the time I spent in Tripoli, Libya, in the 1950s. I even wrote an Ebook Single (shown above) detailing many of my adventures and published it on Amazon: An Army Brat in Libya. Since so many of my blog readers enjoy those adventures and have written to add some details of their own experiences, I am sharing their comments below.

Ernie Miller, now retired in Arizona, has responded from time to time. He recalls a great deal about his time at Wheelus Air Force Base. During the 1954-55 school year, Ernie relates, the high school “had a total population of 52, including all four grades. I left as a very simplistic 15-year-old and have remembered the experiences in Tripoli as some of the best in my life. It was fascinating to see the nomadic tribes continuing their lives as they were doing in the time of Christ. These wonderful nomadic people have remained unchallenged by the space age, the cold war and the exploration of outer space.” Ernie made these remarks before the recent war in Libya and the ensuing challenges Libyans have to remake their country.

Nancy lived at Wheelus from 1952-54 across from the school in barracks build by Mussolini. She remembers “cement floors, and two bedrooms for a family of seven with two dachshunds.” Backyard fences were made of palm branches, “an olive grove was on the side of us where we played in the trees and among pear cacti, finding lots of empty bullet shells from WWII. My dad was chaplain. The base was just being built up. When we got there we had gravel roads, and airmen were living in tents. We flew over in a C-76, an unpressurized prop plane, for which my ears are paying a price today.”

Noelle wrote to tell me her father was in the Corps of Engineers (as was my dad). “He was part of the team who were responsible for the building of the ‘new’ hospital and a number of airstrips during 1952-56 on Wheelus. We lived on the economy in an apartment downtown. From the apartment balcony, we could see Tripoli harbor, a huge local park and gharries that traveled up and down the streets. In the summer, I awoke to gharry bells that adorned the horses.”

“I, too, lived in Tripoli in 1953 and have great memories of that time. I was just out of high school and worked as a typist. Our Italian maid ‘made off’ with my many sets of different colored underwear. My mother’s favorite tablecloth disappeared from the clothesline and probably became part of Arab garb,” said Anne.

Paulette spent 5th and 6th grade at Wheelus. When her father lost his deposit on an apartment to be built in Tripoli, he gave up and moved the family into a trailer on base. “I liked it anyway, and it was only a half-mile to the beach, and we had a small zoo practically in our backyard. I could walk to school, the BX (base exchange), church and the movies. Quite an adventure for a 10/11 year old.”

As the years go by, more and more Wheelus High and Elementary School alumni have gotten in touch on Facebook. And the legend builds. Imagine military brats who got to meet John Wayne, Sophia Loren and Richard Nixon…


Every family has secrets. It was probably easier to keep secrets back in the 20th century. With the openness of the Internet, too many people know your personal business, not to mention your financial information.

During my college years at William & Mary in Virginia, I discovered a few family secrets that were quite interesting and also tragic. I don’t think this information was kept from me because it was very sad or disturbing. More than likely my parents didn’t think I needed to know, and, frankly, I wasn’t very curious then about my parents’ lives before I came along. My stepfather was difficult enough to deal with; I wasn’t anxious to find out about his life before he met and married my mother.

After I enrolled in the College of William & Mary, I was seldom at home for long. One summer vacation, however, I discovered a book in a family bookcase that was inscribed by my dad’s sister, Ann. Her message alluded to a difficult time in his life but she didn’t say exactly what had happened. It peeked my interest and I asked my mother about it.


Darby & Connie Williams get married

Darby & Connie Williams get married

My mother readily  told me my stepfather had been married before she had met him, and his wife Connie had died before a year had passed. The young couple had been married in March 1943 in Alexandria, VA at the venerable St. Paul’s Episcopal Church. Connie Barrett, a graduate of St. Agnes School in Alexandria, was the daughter of a Marine Corps Major General, Charles Barrett, whose family had deep roots in historic Virginia.

My mother finally solved the minor mystery of the initials CAB on the family set of sterling silverware we had been using for years. Mom had always told us it was an antique, and had never explained it had belonged to Connie (maybe a wedding gift). My dad eventually told me a little about Connie, significantly that I would have liked her.

The connections that were to follow were odd coincidences. Connie, a diabetic since childhood, had died from diabetic shock on New Year’s Day 1944, while her husband, my dad, had been on duty at Ft. Belvoir. Connie’s mother had come to visit her; when her daughter didn’t answer the door, she let herself in and found her dead. Connie was only 20 years old, and the day she passed was the day I turned a year old.

At William & Mary, I had  lived in Barrett Dormitory three years–from  sophomore to senior year. There was a lovely study room/museum on the first floor dedicated to Connie’s grandmother, Dr. Kate Waller Barrett, who had endowed the dormitory and had given some of her cherished Chinese decorative mementoes to be displayed in special cases in that room. I was surprised when I discovered she was connected to my family. Dr. Kate Waller Barrett (who had her medical degree) was a Virginian devoted to philanthropy and had opened a home for unwed mothers in Atlanta, the first of the Crittenton missions. She was also one of only 10 women invited to the Versailles Conference in France after WWI. Mrs. Barrett, mother of Maj. Gen. Barrett, had died in 1925, when Connie was two.

Dr. Kate Waller Barrett

Dr. Kate Waller Barrett

Connie’s father, Charles Barrett, was a Marine Corps career officer and had been promoted to Major General in 1942 while he was stationed in New Caledonia in the South Pacific, serving under Admiral William Halsey. In September 1943 he had been given the command of the 1st Marine Amphibious Corps (IMAC-a name way before it was a computer!) The general died on October 8, 1943 in a strange accident a few months before Connie died.

Major General Charles Barrett

Major General Charles Barrett

General Barrett was off duty that October evening. After talking to fellow officers for a short time, he had gone to his second floor bedroom in the officers’ quarters in Bordinat House to wash up before joining other officers for dinner. Not long after, a Marine sentry came rushing into the living room of the quarters to announce that the general had fallen from the second floor porch to the sidewalk below. He had been dressed in his khaki working uniform and was still breathing but unconscious. An ambulance took him to a Navy hospital but he never regained consciousness and died shortly after. At the military court of inquiry, there were comments that the general had looked stressed and tired before he fell off the porch. When they inspected his body, they could see his injuries had been extreme. The court ruled he had died in the line of duty. He was only 58 and had served in the Marine Corps for 34 years.

The Barretts were a well-respected and well-remembered family in Virginia. An elementary school in Alexandria was named after General Barrett, and a Marine Corps building in Quantico–Barrett Hall, as well as Camp Barrett, the basic officers’ school on the Marine base. Tom FitzPatrick, who had attended Charles Barrett School, was so inspired by General Barrett’s life that he wrote a book– A CHARACTER THAT INSPIRED: MAJOR GENERAL CHARLES D. BARRETT, USMC, published in 2003. He did such a thorough job, the book is 761 pages long. My sister shared some photos she had of Connie and my dad, and I, in turn, have borrowed some photos and information from Tom’s book.



In Southern California you never know whom you might see or even chat with. In the past few years I’ve seen Diane Keaton at the Getty Museum and had a long chat at a local Trader Joe’s with the original Hot Lips Houlihan from the MASH film—Sally Kellerman.

In early 1980, when I was the editor of the Acorn newspaper in Agoura, I met actor Strother Martin, who, with his wife Helen, was active in the community and a member of the Agoura-Las Virgenes Chamber of Commerce. He didn’t come to our weekly meetings since he had a busy film career, but he did share his talent with us at our Christmas party at the Calabasas Inn. I took this photo of Strother reading part of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. He had a beautiful voice, far from the “prairie scum” accent he used for roles such as the prison warden in “Cool Hand Luke” where he so famously said, “What we have here is failure to communicate.”


Strother Martin

Strother Martin reading “A Christmas Carol”

I got to know him a little when I did an interview with him at his home in Thousand Oaks. He was getting ready to fly to New York to host the “Saturday Night Live” TV program. He gave me a photo from a recent film he’d done with John Wayne and Katherine Hepburn, “Rooster Cogburn.” I still have it. Within a few months, however, Strother died of a heart attack. Many members of the Chamber of Commerce attended his August funeral at Forest Lawn, including me. I was invited back to the Martin home after the funeral. Jimmy Carter was President then and he called Helen Martin personally to convey his sympathies. I’m currently editing Madelyn Roberts’ biography of the actor: Strother Martin, A Hero’s Journey Fulfilled.

 I met champion heavyweight boxer Jerry Quarry in a local restaurant bar, at that time called New Orleans West. The bar/lounge was a gathering place for many singles in Westlake Village. Since the place bordered Westlake Lake, some residents of the nearby Island (Mickey Rooney had once lived there) would travel via electric party boats and dock them below the restaurant.


Boxer Jerry Quarry

Boxer Jerry Quarry

In the 1980s when I met Jerry, his boxing career was over but people in the bar remembered him and enjoyed his company. I got to know him and eventually interviewed him for a local publication. Nicknamed the Bellflower Bomber during his career, he had been successful, winning 53 fights out of 66. He was a California boy from Bakersfield and had been the most popular fighter in “Ring” magazine from 1968-71. He had even fought the famous Mohammed Ali and Joe Frazier.

Quarry, a local resident, was past his prime when I knew him, but he was friendly and liked to have a good time. Not long after he began to suffer from the effects of dementia caused by getting hit in the head too often during his boxing career. He was only 53 when he died in 1999. He’s included with other famous boxers in the World Boxing Hall of Fame in New York.


One of the perks of writing for newspapers and magazines, which I did for many years, is the privilege of meeting all sorts of fascinating folks. Southern California is full of people of accomplishment, especially in the entertainment industry. I was browsing through my old photo albums recently and ran across some photos I took to accompany my interviews for publications in the Conejo Valley area (Los Angeles County north of the San Fernando Valley). I took photos and chatted at various times with Peter Strauss, Strother Martin, Will Sampson and Jerry Quarry.


I took the photo of Peter Strauss with a dog at a fundraising event at the nearby LA County Dog Shelter. Since the famous MASH TV series was filmed in the Agoura area, Loretta Swit, who played Hot Lips Houlihan, was also at the fundraiser.

Actor Peter Strauss has had a varied acting career as well as a participating role in community welfare. He was living in the Santa Monica Mountains in the Agoura area, where I worked for the local newspaper, when he had one of the starring roles in the 1976 TV series “Rich Man, Poor Man,” which was filmed at Malibu Lake, a few miles away. Nick Nolte, the other star in that series had picked a home a few minutes from Strauss. I’ve written about their respective historic homes in this blog.

Strauss was enthusiastic about his new home and its scenic location, and got involved with a group called “People for the Preservation of Agoura.” I did a phone interview with him to ask about his role in local politics. A young mother at the time, I just getting back into the work force and was extremely nervous, probably because I had been watching the TV series and loved it. His conviviality put me at ease and the interview went well. In 1979 I’d admired his role as a runner in the TV movie the “Jericho Mile.” Shortly after I’d seen it, I bumped into Strauss and his girlfriend in the cereal aisle of the local Vons grocery. I was tongue-tied but had to share my admiration as well as reminding him I’d interviewed him not long before.

Strauss moved out of the mountains a few years later. His historic property, which he had improved and restored, was sold in 1983 and eventually became part of the National Park Service. I did a story on the sale and got a tour of the stone ranch house and its unique cactus garden. Nowadays, the lovely park is used for weddings, concerts and other events. Strauss stayed interested in the natural environment and is an advisory board member of the Los Angeles County Arboretum.


Actor Will Sampson

Actor Will Sampson and friend

Meeting actor Will Sampson was an accidental encounter at a chili cook-off in the Santa Monica Mountains. The almost 3,000 acre Paramount Ranch, once home to lots of Paramount movies, has hosted all sorts of events over the years, like the Renaissance Faire. I was walking through the ranch on my way to the chili booths, probably sponsored by one of the charitable groups in the Conejo Valley. There were hay bales along the rocky path for those who needed a brief rest.

When I spotted Sampson relaxing on one of the bales with a young woman companion, I knew right away he was the American Indian who had played Chief Bromden in the 1975 Academy Award winning film, “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.” Jack Nicholson and Louise Fletcher won Academy Awards for their roles. With his necklace and cowboy hat, Sampson was appropriately Western, but I was surprised at how slender he was. In the movie he had been much stockier. He was immediately friendly and seemed pleased I had recognized him and then willingly posed for a photo. A few years later I read that he had died after a heart and lung transplant. He was only 53.


Part II on Wednesday – Actor Strother Martin and Boxer Jerry Quarry.





Edwin and Bertha Motley, my grandparents

Edwin and Bertha Motley, my grandparents

My grandmother, whom we called Mama Jake, was born in Anson County, North Carolina as Bertha Jackson Seago in 1882. She came from a family of 7 girls and 4 boys, and after she married my grandfather, Edwin P. Motley (in typical Southern fashion, we called him Daddy Ed) in 1903, she gave birth to 8 children, most of them born in Danville, Virginia (my hometown as well). There are still a lot of cousins around, and I recently discovered, thanks to my blog, there were cousins on the Seago side of the family I had never heard of! Mama Jake had a brother who was a Deputy Sheriff who was killed in a shootout, for instance!

History has always intrigued me, and when it relates to family, it’s even more interesting. Henry Louis Gates has hosted several TV shows on PBS regarding our genealogy or “roots.”  “Who Do You Think You Are” is a recent series.  Some years ago my cousin Nancy sent me a list of Mama Jake’s family and the reasons for their demise for a few of them. For instance, her sister Mary had cancer of the heart (which I’ve never heard of), brother Henry died from poisoned liquor, brother Albert had an accidental fall, and brother John died from being shot. John’s death is quite a story and it appeared in the Danville, Virginia, newspaper.

Eric Seago Flashood, a cousin, sent me a link to an ancestor site that told the story of the shooting of Deputy Sheriff John Seago, my grandmother’s brother and Eric’s great-grandfather. There are plenty of sayings about alcohol: “Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker,” from a poem by Ogden Nash, is my favorite. It’s been called Demon Rum and to the point: “Liquor kills.” Alcohol was responsible for the death of two of the Seagos, probably both as a result of Prohibition. When I watched the recent PBS series on Prohibition, I had no idea my Great Uncle worked for law enforcement during that violent era.

Sheriff John Seago was a brave officer of the law in Brunswick County, Virginia, who had saved a man from a lynching in 1921. In June, 1924, he and two other officers raided a moonshine operation located at a private home near the tiny town of Brodnax, Virginia. As the police officers went into the home to arrest the bootlegger, they heard a car drive up. Sheriff Seago went out on the porch to warn the men in the car not to interfere, but they ignored the warning, drove around to the back of the house and came in the back door. The lights were doused and gunfire erupted in a shootout. My Great Uncle John Seago was hit in the stomach. When a local drug store could do nothing for the serious wound, the officers drove the 78 miles to a hospital in Richmond. Despite an operation, Sheriff Seago had lost too much blood and died shortly after, leaving behind a wife and three children.

My grandmother went to her brother’s funeral in Lawrenceville, which is a little east of Danville. When she returned, the local paper, The Danville Bee, interviewed her for a story on her brother’s death. In the story, as was protocol in those days, women were called by their married name, so she was referred to as Mrs. E.P. Motley. According to the article, the men in the car, who had taken part in the shootout, were arrested, but the bootlegger was still at large.

I wish I had been more inquisitive when I was younger and my grandmother was still alive. It’s ironic that so many of us think of the questions we want to ask after our relatives have passed away. I’m sure there are several of my relatives that didn’t even know Mama Jake came from such a large family! Thanks to the Internet, we can fill in some of the blanks.

John Seago in Spanish American War

Soldier John Seago in Spanish American War before the Virginia shootout.



Anne was looking forward to meeting her Romeo in person when he returned from his Dubai construction job; in the meantime she enjoyed all his long and loving Emails. Bill was initially impressed with exotic Dubai, but the project was turning out to be more difficult than he had planned for. He took a few of his own men and hired local labor, which turned out to be a mistake. The locals were not skilled, but he was stuck with them. He was making it work, he wrote, and promised her a nice souvenir.










About a week after he’d started his project, Anne received several photos of a man on a gurney being given oxygen as paramedics were wheeling him from an emergency vehicle to a hospital. Bill sent her a long letter explaining that a horrible accident had happened during the construction, and he had been in a coma for several days. Bill had his laptop with him, and he managed to send her all the tragic information. There had been serious injuries, he said, and one death. According to his written explanation, Bill’s men had completed the first floor of the showroom and the second floor had been hoisted above it and was being lowered to fit onto some pillars. The floor was lowered unevenly, apparently, so it crashed onto the first floor and struck several workers, including Bill. Men were seriously hurt on the first floor, and those above working on lowering the upper floor plummeted onto the first floor. It was the worst accident he’d ever had, Bill wrote, and he was very sad that one of the local workers had been killed and two of his own men critically injured.  He had suffered a terrible head injury, was in great pain, and had hurt his left leg, but he thanked God he was alive. Anne was amazed he had managed to give her such a detailed description, but imagined that he needed to share his anguish with a sympathetic woman.

Bill’s long Email indicated he felt dreadful and also responsible as a result of the accident, especially since the local workers had no medical insurance. Nevertheless, he told her not to worry, it would all work out. He sent photos of himself being taken by paramedics into the hospital; the paramedics had documented their work and made sure he got the proof as well.

According to Bill, the main issue in Dubai was having money, particularly in regard to foreigners. Hospital care was very costly. Bill explained his situation to Anne in detail: he had brought a good amount of cash but hadn’t counted on this accident or a missing piece of equipment that had to be rebought when he’d arrived. The American embassy couldn’t help financially, even if he did have money in the U.S.; they would only fly him home. Having a serious accident in a foreign country was very challenging, and the extreme pain from his head injury didn’t help matters. The doctors had told him he needed surgery for the head injury but the estimated $10,000 cost needed to be paid in advance. Bill had used up most of the funds he’d brought and couldn’t access his stateside bank account, which was locked. He had gotten in touch with his mother, and asked Anne if she could help in any way. He was scared and desperate and praying for help.

Anne answered right away and explained that she didn’t have the funds or credit that could help him, even in a small way. She wrote him several times afterward encouraging him in his struggles and hoping things worked out well. She didn’t receive an answer for over a week and assumed no news is good news.

When she finally got an Email, it was very brief and the message was in italics. “My surgery has been done and it was successful. I am feeling so much better now, but still going to be in the hospital till I fully recover…Thank you for everything.”

She guessed the message might have been written by his mother; it didn’t sound like Bill at all. Although Anne wrote friendly Emails to him several times in the next few weeks to ask about his health, he never replied. What had happened to all those loving words and enthusiasm—he had even called himself “Your Man” shortly before all the communication stopped.

It had been quite a saga but it had seemed very real to her. She had heard about men who scammed (now known as catfished) women (or the reverse) with lots of attention and love on Emails. She hadn’t imagined it would happen to her. Besides, she had a difficult time believing he’d gone to all that trouble just to deceive her.

This story, which took place over a year ago, is true. It was my adventure, and I will always wonder what was real.




Anne had been divorced for many years, but hadn’t given up the idea of having a steady man in her life, a relationship that would provide companionship and love. Over the years she’d met many men and had enjoyed the experiences; most of them had been positive but none had clicked.


Trying the Match online site, she received an answer to her ad from a man named Bill, who apparently lived in the same city. Since she felt comfortable with his overtures, they soon corresponded on Email, which was easier and more personal than going through the Match mail. She was surprised at his quick enthusiasm and openness about his history. Half American and half Canadian, Bill had been happily married for 25 years, but tragedy struck when his wife died of breast cancer, and not long afterward, his grown daughter died in a car accident, leaving behind her preteen daughters for Bill’s Canadian mother to raise. It was a sad story, but his letters revealed a man who had dealt with his sorrow and wanted to move on with his life since he had been single a long time.

Bill’s Emails were consistent and some were very long and full of information. He owned a house and several vehicles, and had a lot of interests: camping, hiking, fishing, traveling, and gardening. He claimed he was a Christian and even taught Sunday School at a neighborhood church. Photos of Bill in a kitchen area with his granddaughters impressed Anne. With his light hair, fair complexion and strong muscular body, he looked trustworthy and fun. The photos showed him clowning around with his two young granddaughters; all of them were making funny faces. She thought he looked Dutch or German.

He told her his business as a licensed building engineer took him all over the world and was the same work his dad had pursued. When Bill was young, his family had even lived for a few years in Turkey. He was tired of the business travel and ready to settle down but had one last building assignment in Dubai before he could retire. It was supposed to be a fairly easy three-week job to build a prefabricated showroom for a car company. He even sent her a copy of the signed contract as proof.

Serious about his romantic pursuit, shortly after the correspondence started, he sent Anne a questionnaire asking 23 questions. Some of the questions were: Was her heart 100% ready for a new relationship, would she enjoy life as part of a couple, was she considerate and thoughtful, did she exercise regularly, did she have pets, did she enjoy cooking, was she patient, was she romantic, had she ever been unfaithful to a partner, and how did she feel about him.

He starting calling her sweetheart and was full of compliments. There were “no roses as lovely as your words,” “nothing moves me like you do,” “you’re my light in the darkness,” “I love you with my body, soul and mind.” Anne was his “angel,” a “miracle.” He claimed he was honest and not a deceiver; he was following his heart.

Because the job in Dubai had come together so fast and he had to get ready to fly there, Bill only had time to make one phone call to Anne. It wasn’t a long call because the connection wasn’t a good one for her. She thought he sounded like he was Dutch or South African, which corresponded to her perceptions of his photos. He Emailed to apologize for the phone static and would solve it when he returned. He had heard her voice very clearly, he said.


This true story will be continued on Sunday’s blog.


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